Lovers vs Loners: "He's Just a Friend"

Now that we have heard the single side of this argument, lets look at it from my perspective. Is it possible for a male and female to be friends? This answer is a cop out, but I believe the situation depends on a few things. For one, if both friends are single, it is more likely for some sort of sexual attraction to grow and possibly take hold of the friendship. This is the example given to you by Chris is his argument. But, there are more situations to visit here.

What if the male is single and the female is not? Here is the classic case of the tease. In situations like this, the male is usually dragged along by the female, listening to her complaints and dealing with her bull shit. But, do not be fooled. The only reason a guy sticks around for that cruel and unusual punishment is in hope of a crumbled self-esteem or relationship for the girl that leads to a hook-up.

What if the female is single? This is a tricky situation because each guy is different. But, I would have to say about 70% of men would hook-up with a female friend even if they were in a relationship. I am in the other 30%, but I have seen first hand the majority side of this figure.

Lastly, what happens if both people are in relationships? Only one thing matters in this situation: Do you generally give a shit about your significant other? If no, the relationship status has no bearing and sexual temptation will take over. If yes, I say the friendship stays as just a friendship.

So where do I stand on the issue? After looking at each situation, I am going to have to agree with Chris. I think it very difficult for a male and female friend to remain friends without any other feelings getting involved. The only way this does not happen is if both are taken and happy to be taken, which, I would have to imagine is not the case until these "friends" are looking to tie the knot. So, for all you high school guys and girls, keep an eye on that close friend of the opposite sex that hangs with your significant other. Odds are, they have other intentions.

Lovers vs Loners: "He's Just a Friend"

So as Andrew said in the introductory post, we tend to view things very differently due to how polar opposite we are. Andrew's been a dedicated relationship "family man" type for years now, whereas I...well...haven't. I always think it's entertaining to see how differently we can view the same thing - me being from the "single" perspective and him from the eyes of a "boyfriend." That's how we came up with the idea for this segment, Lovers Vs Loners, in which we view a topic from the perspective of the Lover (Andrew) and/or the Loner (me).

Once we created "It Is Decided," I knew right away the first thing I wanted to put on the debate table - intergender friendships. I have had this argument countless times, and I can safely say that I have always walked away having convinced my opponent. Let me just start off by stating the obvious: guys and girls CANNOT. BE. FRIENDS. EVER. There is only one exception to this rule, and that's if the member of the opposite sex is dating/related to a friend of yours. And even that is sometimes up for debate (hey, it's a sad world, but we've all watched Jerry Springer or Maury). Let's break it down...

Girls tend to be in denial about this the most, which I always find hilarious. Girls are the first ones to say "All guys want is sex! Men are pigs!" ...But not that best friend of yours, right ladies? No, he's different, and he wants to hear about allllll your problems all the time. He loves listening to you complain about how much of a bitch your best friend is being that day - knowing in the back of his mind you're going to make up with the girl within a few hours. He adores listening to you talk about how the boyfriend you currently have is a complete loser and is treating you like garbage. You know what I like to call dealing with a woman's problems 24/7 without any sexual compensation? Marriage. And sweetheart, we ain't married.

Really try to think about it. Has there ever been a friend of the opposite gender that you haven't, even for a second, entertained the thought of having some sort of sexual escapade with? Just for a moment, and it could have been gone after that. If you're still thinking "No," then guess what? Your friend has, and he/she is lying in the grass waiting for the opportunity.

You're probably thinking, "I guess Chris has no girl friends," and you would be wrong. I'll give you an example...

I've had a friend, "Virginia" for ten years now. We talk and hang out all the time, and she's one of my closest friends. Guess what happened between Virginia and I in the beginning of our friendship, 6 years ago? Yep, it sure did. We were still perfectly normal friends, but we needed to just get that something out of our systems, because it's human instinct. When someone is constantly there for you and a member of your "inner circle" so-to-speak, eventually time is going to sync up and you're both going to be in a position where you just need someone. And who better to call on than your best friend? Four years went by and Virginia and I were perfectly normal after that. She's met every girlfriend I've had and even been friends with some (other girlfriends were a little more skeptical, and rightfully so). I used to try and be friends with the guys she's dated, but guess what? Guys know guys are pigs. So usually when Virginia is with a guy, our friendship gets put on the back burner for a little bit and I in no way get offended. So yes, Virginia and I are friends of opposite genders. And no, we've never even talked about being in a relationship (we would kill each other). But the point I'm trying to prove here is that the sexual interest occasionally does arise within a friendship. It could take years, but it eventually will happen. People's lives go up and down the wheel of fortune all the time, and when someone is at a low point, they will always naturally turn to a friend. Virginia and I are constantly being accused by family and friends of being future spouses. ...Oh, and a couple of months ago, Virginia and I "synced up" again. Does that sound like "just a friend" to you? Me either.

I'd like to live in a utopia where we could all hold hands around the campfire and truly not have to worry about things like this. But it's like a wise man once said, "When you're dating a guy, you have to worry about one dick. When you're dating a girl, you have to worry about everyone's dick." Look at the squirrels out there in the forest. How many of them are worrying about another squirrel's nuts? Zero. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, people. So let me say it one last time: guys and girls...NEVER "just friends."

Welcome to the Blog

Welcome all. Some of you may know Chris and I from our contributions to Broiled Sports. We decided to branch out to another blog which we have title It Is Decided. This blog will focus on different aspects of social life including women, sports, politics and anything else you can imagine. You will receive two different opinions from two different people. Chris and I have known each other for over a decade, lived with each other in college and have remained best friends for quite some times. But that does not mean we aren't different. I, Andrew, am a registered Democrat, have been in a relationship for three years, majored in Political Science and love Bruce Springsteen. Chris on the other hand comes from a strong minded Italian family with a Republican background, majored in Communications, is currently single and a member of the commuter community that travels into Manhattan every morning. Prepare yourself for advice from every angles and thanks for reading. And as Chris always says, "no topic is safe".